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Food for Thought 3/3 - Jasper/Edward
bubbles
iridian_skin
Title: Food for Thought
Author: iridian_skin
Rating: R
Pairing: Jasper/Edward
Genre: Angst, humor, romance
Warnings: Violence, language, sexual content
Length: 5400 words, 3 chapters
Summary: Jasper could recall the time he himself had come across what Edward so lamely called his ‘personal brand of heroin’. It had been a chance encounter in the dark streets of Austin, Texas, and there had been a very simple, very efficient conclusion to it.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything. I only play.





Midnight Cravings

At midnight, Jasper was lying flat on his back on the floor and staring at the ceiling, contemplating the unfair treatment his experiment a few days back had received, and wishing it would at least stop raining.

“There is mold in the attic,” he said aloud. “The mice may become affected by it.”

“What?” An angry voice spoke at the door.

Jasper turned his head, startled. There was Edward, glowering to him again.

“What?” said Jasper. “I’m allowed to talk if I want to, even if I’m currently in disgrace. And I bet you didn’t hear what I just thought, underneath the mice talk. Talking is handy.”

Edward strolled inside, even though he had not been invited, and closed the door behind him. There was a vicious look in his eyes, almost black, suggesting that he hadn’t eaten in a while and was in a foul mood. He kept clenching and unclenching his hands.

Jasper looked back at the ceiling. “What do you want?”

Edward ground his teeth. It made an unpleasant screeching sound. He seemed somewhat upset.

“I want you to stop disrespecting my girlfriend.”

“What?” said Jasper. “I’m very fond of Betty. She’s grown on me these past weeks. I don’t know what she sees in you, though.”

“First of all, her name is Bella. Isabella Swan.”

“Yes, yes.” Jasper made an impatient gesture with his hand, the middle finger perhaps a little bit extended. “I know Betty Swa…mper. I’m very familiar with her. Betty Swamper may be the instrument of destruction for us all. A lovely girl.”

“I don’t want you to ever speak of her again,” growled Edward.

“Well, that’s fine by me. I hope you can arrange so that I won’t have to see her, either. It’s very stupid what you’re doing, you know. But you probably don’t. Because you’re in love.”

Jasper grinned and kept his eyes to the ceiling, carefully oozing a horribly numbing sensation of calm and ease.

Edward didn’t notice it at first, but after a while his brain kicked in and began to question why Jasper’s insolence didn’t bother him the way it should have.

“Stop it,” he said. “Stop right now or I will kick your teeth in. I may be calm at the moment, but I will remember this. There will be revenge.”

Jasper smirked. “Okay. I remove my spell from you. There. Better?”

“Much,” said Edward and kicked him in the side, hard.

The force of the impact threw Jasper against the wall, and he leaped up feeling more annoyed by the second.

“What the hell? What was that for? The mug? Jeez!” He rubbed his side and looked offended. “Get a grip, Edward!”

But Edward’s hands were clenched again, and he stared at Jasper with his black eyes.

Jasper was not pleased. “Really, what’s your problem? I’m very sorry I broke the mug. I’m sure it had a lot of sentimental value for Carlisle. He was upset when he found out, and I even more so. That’s punishment enough, don’t you think?”

“Stop talking,” said Edward wearily. “For the love of God, or, whatever, just shut up for a moment. I came to tell you something. Or ask. I’m not sure which.”

He didn’t seem to know what to do with his fists, so he decided to take them to use and punched an angry hole in the bedroom wall. That seemed to take the edge off, at least for the time being. Jasper held his tongue. He was curious. And Edward was always too easily provoked.

Edward kept staring at him. Finally he said: “You met somebody, too. How did that end?”

Jasper shrugged. “As you’d expect,” he said. “With rather instant bloodshed and me feeling very well nourished.”

“But,” Edward said and looked like he would rather tear his hair out than talk to him, “did you think about it? Did you have time to consider?”

Slowly Jasper shook his head. “No. There was no time. I just reacted. And that was it.”

He gave Edward a sharp look.

“I ain’t saying that’s what you should have done. But do you really think it’s good for anybody, what you’re doing? That girl is completely obsessed with you, and you’re lusting for her without any hope.”

Edward’s shoulders slumped a little.

“What do you think will happen? She may stick around, sure. But might also be that some day you won’t be careful enough.”

A thought occurred to Jasper, and he bit the insides of his cheeks in a desperate attempt to keep from smiling.

“She’s pretty persistent, I’ve noticed,” he said carefully.

Edward’s head snapped up, and the anger had returned. “Shut up. You don’t get to talk about that.”

“Oh, I’m sure that’s what you’d like. Nobody to ever talk to you about it. Or generally in any way let you know there is such a thing as getting naked and doing dirty things with somebody.”

The smile forced itself on Jasper’s face, and Edward hit him so hard his head banged against the wall and made another mark on the plaster. Jasper fell down, pressing his hands on his bleeding face.

“You are a repressed man,” he remarked a little dazedly. “Obsessed and repressed. Hitting me won’t help.”

Edward turned his head a little, listening. “We’ll continue this conversation elsewhere.”

He lifted Jasper from the floor and sent him spinning across the room and right through the window. Then Edward leaped after him, grabbed him in the air mere moments before he was about to crash into the ground, and ran to the woods, dragging him along.

Jasper’s bare feet dragged deep grooves into the ground, demolishing the undergrowth. Finally Edward came to a halt, and he landed in a bush of nettles with a heavy thump. He surfaced with a yelp.

Edward stood in the clearing with an air of determined violence.

“You bother me,” he snarled. “Every day I hear you think vicious thoughts. You are never content. Incredibly rude. You have no respect for anybody. You bring human blood to the house! You involve Alice in your schemes. And you broke the mug!”

Jasper stared at him. “Yes,” he said carefully, “all of it is true.”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why do you do this?”

Edward looked miserable. Jasper picked a shard of glass from his neck and stared, not understanding.

“You walk around with this air of deluded superiority,” Edward whispered. “You seem to think there’s nothing you can do, nothing you don’t have the skills for or the nerve to pull off. It’s…unbearable.”

He took a step closer, and there was a desperate gleam in his hungry black eyes.

“The boy. The one like Bella. You just finished him off. For your own pleasure, just like that.” He snapped his fingers to accentuate his point.

“That’s right,” Jasper said sharply. “Do you expect me to regret it? Nothing good would’ve come of it.”

He picked more glass from his skin and examined Edward with a long cool look.

“Since we’ve come all this way and we’re sharing, which is really heart-warming, by the way, except for the part in which my window was smashed into little pieces which are still mostly lodged in my skin, why don’t I tell you what I think of you.”

Edward didn’t look too happy about the prospect. Jasper began to approach him slowly and menacingly.

“Edward. A little more than a hundred years old, a tortured soul, one who didn’t have time to live any kind of life before he was turned, prone to reject everything he desires. Then he meets a girl who loves him, one so special it turns his life around. Only there ain’t nothing he can do about it except pine for her. They pine for each other, and it’s sickening to watch.”

Bloody shards of glass fell to the ground as Jasper walked towards him.

“It’s a very special kind of punishment”, he said slowly. “And the best part is that finally our Edward wants to get close to someone, to lose himself in the pleasures of the flesh, but there is no way he can. And he wouldn’t let himself, anyway.”

Edward was helpless in the face of the horrible truth. He opened his mouth and whispered, not able to stop himself: “I can’t bear to touch her. She will break if I lose control. I’m not strong enough for this.”

Jasper took another step towards him, and Edward began to retreat, looked away and said in a voice not quite his own: “I don’t know what to do. I just want to…”

“…Give in?”

Edward shook his head miserably.

“No. That’s not possible.”

“Sure it is.”

Edward stared at Jasper with something close to panic.

“No, no, no. Absolutely not.”

Jasper stopped. His expression was undecipherable, and suddenly he was much less the angry grinning clown Edward took him to be. He crossed his arms and said calmly: “There is nothing you can do that I won’t be able to take. Do you understand me?”

The crescent scars on Jasper’s arms and his throat shone a bright white light in the rain, and even his feet appeared to be slashed by barely invisible marks. Amidst the cuts of the window glass Edward could see a faint scar run across his lips and end in a crooked curve below the jaw line, and he couldn’t help thinking who had done that to Jasper, whether he still remembered all the people whose attempts to survive, to stay alive, to stand victorious had been so brutally carved into his skin. Maybe there had been just Jasper, in the end. Maybe he was the only one who remembered those people and their hopeless struggle.

Maybe he didn’t remember anything.

Jasper was watching him intently, and a mocking grin began to hover around his mouth.

“Well?” he said and smirked a little. “Bring it on, Miss Scarlett. Ashley is waiting.”

The insult broke what was left of Edward’s restraint, and with a snarl he threw himself at him. They fell into the ground trashing, and Jasper’s breathless laughter was ringing in his ears, and Edward couldn’t take any more ridicule so he sunk his teeth deep into Jasper’s shoulder, ripping it open in his hollow despair. He couldn’t help a broken sob at the taste of bitter blood in his mouth.

Jasper’s laughter had stopped abruptly, and Edward knew he would be in for a merciless retaliation. He hoped it would be swift and painful and maybe leave him scattered around the woods in small chunks of flesh.

Jasper’s cold hands grabbed his hair and forced his head up. Edward tried to hide the raw despair on his face, but there was nothing else, it was consuming him and Jasper would see it all and destroy him. They locked eyes, and Jasper looked at him in a way Edward didn’t understand.

It was an expression he did not recognize. Not fury. And it seemed that Jasper wasn’t going to mock him, either. Perhaps it was a look that promised imminent death, the last thing his victims ever saw.

Then the corner of Jasper’s mouth curved into a sad and gentle little smile, and Edward was shocked to realize that this was how Esme sometimes looked at him, those times she tried to get him to do something nice for himself and he would refuse.

“There now,” said Jasper. “It’s okay.”

And he spun the surprised Edward to the ground with a not altogether violent motion, and landed gracefully on top of him.

“You can’t hurt me,” Jasper whispered in his ear.

Then he did something obscene with his tongue, and Edward lost control.

It was absolutely frightening, the way he took from Jasper what he wanted, revealing himself in all his embarrassing and fumbling need. And a few times he forgot himself and let go, gave himself completely but (thank God) only for very brief moments, Jasper carrying him through the unknown in an unexpectedly gentle and playful manner.

And when Jasper lay underneath him in the cold ground, gasping and staring at him and grinning quite happily, Edward very nearly kissed him. Afterwards he was relieved there had been at least something he had refrained from doing.

Because to have Jasper see him in the end, a gasping shivering wreck, and to have him whisper smiling words in his ear and hold him a little bit, until Edward drew away and collected himself, that was the scariest of all.


*


“I may have been slightly mistaken,” said Jasper and groaned. “You may have to carry me back. Or leave me here. But don’t think I won’t be missed. In disgrace or not.”

Edward didn’t reply. He lay motionless on the ground and stared at the light morning sky. Jasper climbed on top of him, bruised and bloody and considerably less graceful than before, and pinched his ear.

“I apologize for my behavior,” Edward said stiffly, not looking at him. “I assure you this will not happen again.”

“Well, that’s a shame. I find your company a great deal more pleasant than I used to.”

Jasper bit Edward’s neck carefully and thoughtfully. Then he forced their eyes to meet. “Did you not like it?”

“Alice said I should show better restraint. She knew this would happen.”

“Miss Alice is a perceptive woman. But she doesn’t understand everything she sees. Ain’t nothing wrong with what happened.”

“Isn’t,” Edward corrected. “And yes there is. You look like hell. I can’t imagine what this would have done to Bella. Of course, I can’t imagine ever behaving this way with a lady.”

And Jasper laughed at him, swore and called him an idiot. The familiarity of it was oddly comforting, particularly as Edward was rather naked.

“Look,” said Jasper. “I can’t stop you from punishing yourself. Go right ahead and make your life as miserable as you can. But there’s no need for it. We’re being punished enough as it is, living this half-life and going to school with all those little fuckers with a pulse they don’t deserve to have. Which I won’t be doing for long, by the way. There’s only so much restraint a man finds reasonable to have. So, my point being: this was good, and I look forward to doing it again, and it will definitely help you when you go visit Miss Betty again.”

“I told you not to speak of her.”

“That you did.”

They lay quietly for some time.

“And you’re no Ashley.”

“Sure I am. Blond, kind and handsome, a true Southern gentleman, always ready to assist. And way too good for Scarlett.”

“Whatever you say, Mr. Enchantment at the Cotton Plantation,” said Edward and snickered.

“What? Are you trying to insult me? Well, try harder, Edward Scissorhands.”

And for a while they felt something almost akin to happiness.


fin



Author's Note: My heartfelt thanks go to moodwriter for suggesting I write something in English, for being my beta, and for helping me actually publish this.


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